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In a nutshell

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hey, I'm all for honesty, but let's not get carried away

define 'illegal.' your idea of it and mine are in separate universes.

Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other.... they eye-make-love

I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people. || I would be honored to be that friend.

I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.

we named our party playlist 'daddy issues'

You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.

I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closests but he just wouldn't listen.

I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say 'I want to fuck you.'

He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.

I can't do this much fabulous before lunchtime

I must have some kind of sixth sense that tells me when a boy's virginity needs to be taken

You would have shot him in the back? Of course! It's the safest way!

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